Pixar Pitches is where we present our own made-up (or loosely based on folklore) plots that we could see being a part of the Pixar franchise. These could be sensible or absurd. This is just a pitch, so of course there would be tweaks if we got the green-light. And our first pitch of the week is called The Irish Giant (plot below). We’ve seen representation from Scotland and Mexico, and will see Italy in the upcoming Pixar film, Luca, but we have yet to see Ireland! As we are all aware, Pixar deals with sadness in its movies pretty well. You know who else deals with sadness pretty well? The Irish. I’d say 75% of their songs are in some way sad, depressing or dark. The other 25% is extremely entertaining. Perfect match! Plus, it’d be cool to see a movie compete musically with Coco. Let’s have some craic Pixar!
The Irish Giant
Francis “Frank” McHugh (voiced by Brendan Gleeson) was a legendary boxer in Tir na Fathaigh (Land of the Giants) off the coast of the north of Ireland. He fought every challenger across the land, going 23-0 in his years. He wanted to find new competition, and win more prize money to provide for his family and so decided to travel to the mainland. But no giant has ever successfully crossed to the mainland of humans. He set out with his dog, leaving behind his wife and five young children. After a vicious storm, and his dog now lost at sea, Frank wound up in mainland Ireland – the first giant ever to do so. The Irish men and women had never seen anything like him! While there, he boxed, but over the years his giants body slowly deteriorated until he became a regular human. He fought for 7 more years until he lost his first fight. Then he was stuck on the mainland without being able to get back to Tir na Fathaigh. So he started working the docks as a fisherman for two years, hoping another giant would someday wash ashore.
Frank’s oldest child, Finn (voiced by David Rawle) is an early teen now and has not seen his father in 9 years! On his 14th birthday he decides it’s time he set out to search for his dad. His family never lost hope that he was out there somewhere, convinced he was just lost and would someday return. Finn’s mother (voiced by Michelle Fairley), tries to convince her son not to leave her and his siblings, saying the mainland can be a dangerous place. But alas he does, alone. While on this journey he meets a runaway fairy named Cara (Saoirse Ronan) from a fairy-inhabited island called Lillymore and a wise, old, talking Irish wolfhound named Sligo (Liam Cunningham) strayed from his owner many years ago.
During a brutal storm one night, they see a lone boat out on the sea on the southern coast of Tir na Fathaigh and in thinking it’s his father, Finn goes to try and save him. While swimming out, he notices a number of large columns sticking out of the ocean, which causes him to struggle, but he ultimately gets the boat to shore. They discover it is not Frank McHugh and is instead an Irish human named Patrick (Glen Hansard). Together the next morning, after the storm has passed, they climb out to the furthest column and uncover thousands more below sea level extending far across the ocean! Through Finn’s super strength and Cara’s magical fairy dust, they are able to lift the columns to the water’s surface. Over some time, Finn, Cara, Patrick and Sligo build a causeway from Tir na Fathaigh to mainland Ireland with hopes of both being welcomed and finding Finn’s father. They shortly realize though, that somewhere along the causeway, in the middle of the ocean, a force causes any giant or fairy to begin a process of becoming just a human.
They eventually reach Ireland where more columns are above the water and they connect what they’ve built with the one on Ireland’s shore. The causeway is finally complete and Patrick decides to be the group’s peacemaker as seeing a giant and fairy is still new to humans. The four of them encounter many curious individuals, but not Finn’s father. Ready to give up hope, Finn takes a walk along the coast and hears a man whistling and singing a lullaby while sitting alone out on a dock. He knows that’s the song his father sang to him many years ago. Sure enough it is him! Finally reunited, they plan to travel back along the causeway to their home and find out that only humans who were once giants can become giants again! Dozens of other humans, who were also once giants, are able to return to their home land. Cara and Patrick decide to live in mainland Ireland together as humans and start a family of their own. Frank and Finn adopt Sligo, and the three of them get safely back home to Mrs. McHugh and the other children, and the whole island has the most craic the Land of Giants has ever seen!
[…] So what’s my money grab idea that can then be used to fund an actual high-quality film (perhaps The Irish Giant)? It goes by the name… Potty Mouth. Parents are going to hate it, but to kids, it will be […]