Upcoming Pixar Projects Leaked

Pixar is insanely popular and rightfully so. But, like any good company, it’s always looking for continued growth. One way companies pursue growth is through partnerships – a strategy as old as time. You’ve likely seen Big Peanut Butter do this with both jelly and chocolate – and to amazing results. This is why it wasn’t too shocking when an internal document leaked earlier this week, revealing proposed upcoming films in which Pixar would team up with some of the biggest franchises in the business. Even if you came across it yourself I still figured it’d be good to go through some of these projects and give my two cents.

Working Title: The Incredible (s &) Hulk

The Incredible Hulk teams up with the Incredibles after an old foe rolls back into town. 

First off, is that title serious? I get it that it’s The Incredible Hulk with The Incredibles but the s  and ampersand inside of parenthesis is absurd.  Outside of that atrocity, we’ve got an incredibly vague plot. It doesn’t matter though because I am an absolute sucker for superhero content and this sounds pretty cool. Superheroes teaming up tends to work (I’m looking at you, Justice League) and can be a ton of fun. On top of that, both studios, Marvel and Pixar, are owned by Disney. Sounds like an ideal scenario. Let’s get this one rolling. 

Working Title: Ice Age: Rise of the Good Dinosaurs

Another ice age hits and Ray Romano is back along with the squirrel and his nut. As they come across a new set of creatures that seem scary they come to realize these new dinosaurs aren’t so bad after all and that the real horror is something they never expected.  

Sure, I guess? These two properties do seem to match up well enough, I suppose. I think we can all agree with love Ray but do people care about the Ice Age franchise enough to move the needle here? Was the Good Dinosaur a good movie? Will there be multiple good dinos now? Who knows. All I know is that I am not in the target demo for this.

Working Title:  Godzilla: King of the Monsters University

Mike and Sully are down on their luck following their expulsion from the university but are determined not to let their past dictate their future. They start renting a house near campus and create a fake fraternity that quickly gains many followers, most of which are matriculated students / monsters. It’s all fun and games until the oldest fraternity in school history, led by its fearless leader, Godzilla, attempts to take down this ragtag group. 

Um…yeah, this sounds awful. The only thing I know to be true here is that Mike and Sully are monsters and that Godzilla is also a monster. Other than that I don’t really see how these properties fit together. Seriously, what are they thinking with this one? People like Godzilla for the destruction not the artistic license he takes when drawing on some passed out monster’s face. 

Working Title: Catching Up 2 the Kardashians

Tired of life in the limelight, a fully animated Kardashian clan seeks a more peaceful existence. Having heard of Carl Frederickson and his famous flying house, they attempt to do the same. As they float away, Carl is tipped off regarding a danger that awaits them. Suddenly Carl, the boy scout, and Dug must quickly prepare for their own takeoff in order to catch up with the Kardashians and warn them before it is too late. 

Nope. There’s no way this one is real. Pixar has too much integrity! Although, while I want to hate this so bad, there is something slightly appealing about it. Think about it: the Kardashians are among the most famous people in the world. This movie, as bad as it sounds, could make an insane amount of money at the box office and bring both parties tons of new fans. It could also be the laughing stock of the Pixar catalog. Either way, it’s guaranteed to be a very memorable film.  

Working Title: 2 Fast 2 Cars 4 Kids

You think you’ve seen the Torettos everywhere but just wait for their next big adventure as the  family gets animated in this Cars 3 sequel, 2 Fast 2 Cars 4 Kids (2F2C4K). An international organization dealing with automobile trafficking, fronting as the non-profit Kars 4 Kids (1-877-Kars-4Kids), takes in Mater against his will. Knowing he cannot get Mater back by himself, Lightning McQueen goes to the only people he knows that can help him –  Dom and Mia Torreto, Roman Pearce, and Ludacris. At first the family turns him down but after winning a race against Toretto, McQueen gains their respect. They then work together to get Mater back and, in the process, bring down the evil corporation and their hypnotic jingle. 

I’ll be honest I’ve never seen any of the Cars movies and I’m not sure if I care to. The Fast movies though? I’ll admit they are big, stupid and ridiculously over the top. And yes, they are apparently going to space in Fast 10. None of that matters though because I am ride or die with them, which means I’m on board with this.

I will say one conflicting thing for me is that the Fast franchise traditionally makes use of world class practical effects. When you see them drive a car from one building to the next, or throw a truck over a cliff as Paul Walker runs along the top of it, they actually do that in real life. Their practical effects / stunt crew is insane. So, while it will be a bit of a let down to not see some crazy effects, I am definitely excited to see how the franchise translates to an animated medium.

Working Title: The Wolf of WALL-E Street Band 

Soon after his release from jail, Jordan Belfort has another opportunity at a massive score. In this case it is a plot of land that is incredibly rich in oil but currently under heavy government protection. He resorts to classic smoke and mirrors techniques, including partnering with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, who are unaware of the stakes, to gain the public’s trust. WALL-E, seeing the potential damage to the environment, leaves EVE behind as he travels to the past in an effort to stop the ensuing events. WALL-E, the Boss, and the rest of the crew must band together to stop Jordan Belfort and the potential damage to the environment.

This is incredibly stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Wolf of Wall Street but it is extremely raunchy. How can they possibly merge that with WALL-E? It really makes no sense to me. Maybe it’s in the same vein as Catching Up 2 the Kardashians in that Pixar may be able to rope in several new demographics? I guess all I can say is good luck, Pixar.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s