25th High School Reunion

Sully: Hey Tommy! Tommy, you rollin’? What’s up IG Live? This is Pat Sullivan coming to you from our 25th high school reunion. I’m with my smokin’ hot wife and mothah to at least 4 of my children, Denise!

Denise: Zazuuu! I didn’t know I was having that last one, I just thought I was bloated.

Sully: Ya we didn’t even have to use a pregnancy test, we found out when the Gas-X wasn’t working.

Denise: You are so bizarre

Sully: You are [they make out]

[Frank enters]

Sully: Holy smokes- 25 years, that makes you what, 45 Frank?

Frank: Yea I had to repeat my senior year a couple times because I had gastric suction surgery.

Sully: Gastric wha? Oh you mean you got ya stomach pumped

Frank: Drinking too many Dirty Waters…

Denise: What’s a Dirty Water?

Frank: It’s Guinness and Heineken and a shot full of PopRocks

Sully: Ha I loved those!

Molly: Hi welcome to your 25th Reunion, please pick up your name tags here

Sully: Howaya hun, how much for a light beer.

Molly: Sir, it’s complimentary for the first hour.

Sully: Well if it’s free, I’ll take three!

[Sully holding three beers, enter John McGillicuddy]

Sully: Johnny Mac! What’s up, buddy? I saw this guy drink a mudslide out of the cleat he was wearing in a rugby game 4 hours earlier. Whattya up to now?

John McGillicuddy: Actually I’m a doctor.

Sully: Wait, so you’re Dr. McGillicuddy?

JM: Yep

Denise: Oh my God that’s wicked awesome!

Sully: You’re wicked awesome

Denise: You are [they make out]

[enter Donnie Bartalotti]

Donnie: Did someone say wicked awesome?

Sully: Donnie! What’s up pally? I haven’t seen ya since your commitment ceremony. [to Tommy] that’s gay for “gay wedding”

Donnie: what’s up you bastids, I-

President of High School: We’d like now to announce that our alum, Richard Lipshitz has generously donated $25 million to set up the Richard Lipshitz Family Foundation Wellness Center. Among much of which will be included, is a space that will feature a state-of-the-art strength and conditioning area; athletic training center; and additional classroom space. Construction is anticipated to begin immediately.

Denise: Wowza! 25 mil, can you imagine?!

Sully: Irregardless! I bet Dicky never scalped tickets to the Sox, flipped em for twice the actual price, then snuck in over the parking gate and beat up the two guys we sold up to claiming they were in our seats!

Richard Lipshitz: Actually, I have

Donnie: Wait, your Lipshitz?

RL: Ya, but you should hear my ass whistle

Sully: Tommy please tell me you got that?!