Hey Ky. It’s me, Boston.
How have you been? You look great.
I know our relationship isn’t in the best place right now. I said some things, you said some things. You said I said some things.
It wasn’t always this way. There was a time when seeing you in Boston brought me nothing but joy and optimism. Specifically, that time was the 2017-18 Celtics season. Since it’s Boston week, let’s look back at more amicable times and one of the most fun teams in recent Boston sports history.
That preseason my hopes were sky-high. Six minutes and one broken tibia later, I was distraught. It seemed like the season was smothered in its crib before it had a chance. Then this happened:
Inspired by your public courting of fellatio, the Celtics started rampaging through the league to the tune of a 16-game win streak, culminating in your 47-point ejaculation onto the Mavericks. It was electrifying. You, Al, Marcus, Jaylen, and Jayson led the C’s to a shocking 2-seed in the East and provided some of my favorite sports moments in years: Rozier’s steal and dunk to sink the Pacers, Jaylen’s buzzer-beater over Utah, Yabusele’s dabs, and (*chef’s kiss*) Smart’s back-to-back drawn charges on Harden to cap a 26-point comeback.
Of course, that fun had to die sometime. On March 11, you suffered a season-ending knee injury. An exciting season was now sure to peter out in an early playoff exit. And then… it didn’t. Without both of their star acquisitions, the Celtics went on an improbable run to game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Their playoff run had another season’s worth of classic moments: Scary Terry ending Eric Bledsoe’s career (w/ a cameo from the real Bledsoe), Philly’s confetti debacle, and Tatum putting LeBron on a poster.
After that run, it seemed like the sky was the limit. We were on the verge of building something special together. And then… we weren’t. No need to rehash the past. We’ve both moved on. Had some successes, some failures.
And now here we are, facing off in the playoffs again. I’m just glad we’re handling it with class.
Well, cue another 16 straight wins, which means… oh shit. Congrats to you and the 2022 NBA champion Brooklyn Nets.