MGM AUDITION ROOM 1938
CASTING AGENT: Here we have Jimmy Nolan.
JIMMY: How we doin’? Any notes, anything I should know?
VICTOR FLEMING: Just whatever feels normal… Here we go.
JUDY GARLAND as DOROTHY: Oh, apples… Look!
CASTING AGENT: Dorothy picks an apple off the tree and reacts as the tree takes the apple back and slaps Dorothy’s hand.
JON CANDIDO as ANGRY APPLE TREE: What do you think you’re doing?
DOROTHY: We’ve been walking a long ways and I was hungry and — Did you say something?
TREE: Hungry!? Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?
DOROTHY: Oh, dear! I keep forgetting I’m not in Kansas.
JIMMY NOLAN as SCARECROW: Come on, Dottie — you don’t want any a those apples!
TREE: What do you mean – she doesn’t want any of these apples? Are you hinting my apples aren’t what they ought to be?
SCARECROW: Listen, buddy! It’s just that she friggin’ hates little green worms! Got it?
TREE [angrily]: Oh!
CASTING AGENT: The First Tree grabs for the two — the Scarecrow fights him off as Dorothy runs —
SCARECROW: You want some of this, tough guy? Run, Dottie!
CASTING AGENT: — the Scarecrow follows her —
TREE: Oh… I’ll give you little green worms.
CASTING AGENT: The tree winds up, throws apples toward Scarecrow and Dorothy and Toto.
SCARECROW: I’ll show ya how to get apples!
CASTING AGENT: The Scarecrow dodges about…
SCARECROW: Ha! Will ya look at that?
CASTING AGENT: Running past the Trees, Scarecrow scoops up the now loose apples —
SCARECROW: I’m like Bobby Doerr out here!
CASTING AGENT: Dorothy and Scarecrow each take a bite out of their apples —
SCARECROW: I can’t friggin’ believe it worked! Hey Dot, how ya like them apples?
CASTING AGENT: Next up is Eddie McNeil.
EDDIE: Howya doin’?
VICTOR FLEMING: Okay…
FRANK MORGAN as OZ: And you, Scarecrow, have the effrontery to ask for a brain?
CASTING AGENT: Scarecrow kneeling as the other three watching.
EDDIE MCNEIL as SCARECROW: Yea, see…
CASTING AGENT: Not yet, Ed.
OZ: You billowing bale of bovine fodder!
SCARECROW: OK pal, I don’t undahstand what ya sayin’… Irregahdless, yes… Ya honah, I mean, ya Wizidry!
VICTOR: Ya, that’s enough.
CASTING AGENT: Buddy Carroll, in to sing “If I Only Had A Brain”
BUDDY CARROLL: Ya, hey
VICTOR FLEMING: Let’s hear it Buddy.
BUDDY CARROLL as SCARECROW [singing]: I cood while away da ahwas, Conferrin’ with da flowahs, Consultin’ with da rain… And my head I’d be scratchin’, While my thoughts ah busy hatchin’, If I only had a brain.
VICTOR: Great, thanks for coming in.
SCARECROW [singing]: Oh, I, could tell yous why…
VICTOR: All set!