MGM AUDITION ROOM 1938

CASTING AGENT: Here we have Jimmy Nolan.

JIMMY: How we doin’? Any notes, anything I should know?

VICTOR FLEMING: Just whatever feels normal… Here we go.

JUDY GARLAND as DOROTHY: Oh, apples… Look!

CASTING AGENT: Dorothy picks an apple off the tree and reacts as the tree takes the apple back and slaps Dorothy’s hand.

DOROTHY: Ouch!

JON CANDIDO as ANGRY APPLE TREE: What do you think you’re doing?

DOROTHY: We’ve been walking a long ways and I was hungry and — Did you say something?

TREE: Hungry!? Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?

DOROTHY: Oh, dear! I keep forgetting I’m not in Kansas.

JIMMY NOLAN as SCARECROW: Come on, Dottie — you don’t want any a those apples!

TREE: What do you mean – she doesn’t want any of these apples? Are you hinting my apples aren’t what they ought to be?

SCARECROW: Listen, buddy! It’s just that she friggin’ hates little green worms! Got it?

TREE [angrily]: Oh!

CASTING AGENT: The First Tree grabs for the two — the Scarecrow fights him off as Dorothy runs —

SCARECROW: You want some of this, tough guy? Run, Dottie!

CASTING AGENT: — the Scarecrow follows her —

TREE: Oh… I’ll give you little green worms.

CASTING AGENT: The tree winds up, throws apples toward Scarecrow and Dorothy and Toto.

SCARECROW: I’ll show ya how to get apples!

CASTING AGENT: The Scarecrow dodges about…

SCARECROW: Ha! Will ya look at that?

CASTING AGENT: Running past the Trees, Scarecrow scoops up the now loose apples —

SCARECROW: I’m like Bobby Doerr out here!

CASTING AGENT: Dorothy and Scarecrow each take a bite out of their apples —

SCARECROW: I can’t friggin’ believe it worked! Hey Dot, how ya like them apples?

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CASTING AGENT: Next up is Eddie McNeil.

EDDIE: Howya doin’?

VICTOR FLEMING: Okay…

FRANK MORGAN as OZ: And you, Scarecrow, have the effrontery to ask for a brain?

CASTING AGENT: Scarecrow kneeling as the other three watching.

EDDIE MCNEIL as SCARECROW: Yea, see…

CASTING AGENT: Not yet, Ed.

OZ: You billowing bale of bovine fodder!

SCARECROW: OK pal, I don’t undahstand what ya sayin’… Irregahdless, yes… Ya honah, I mean, ya Wizidry!

OZ: Enough!

VICTOR: Ya, that’s enough.

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CASTING AGENT: Buddy Carroll, in to sing “If I Only Had A Brain”

BUDDY CARROLL: Ya, hey

VICTOR FLEMING: Let’s hear it Buddy.

BUDDY CARROLL as SCARECROW [singing]: I cood while away da ahwas, Conferrin’ with da flowahs, Consultin’ with da rain… And my head I’d be scratchin’, While my thoughts ah busy hatchin’, If I only had a brain.

VICTOR: Great, thanks for coming in.

SCARECROW [singing]: Oh, I, could tell yous why…

VICTOR: All set!