BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: Santa stood one foggy Christmas eve as a young man before a dark row of large ice blocks in the North Pole. There was a great, massive storm that had just passed through. He thought to himself, “how am I going to deliver all these presents to good little boys and good little girls across the world? I can’t let them down.”

So he started out on his own, lugging his great, big, bag of toys. And he was frightened to pass through those ice blocks even though he knew on the other side was kids waiting for him to visit and bring them gifts. He thought about little Stevie and his bandanna and he thought about young Clarence and his hope for a new saxophone.

Then a warlock woman called him over and she said, “son come here, let me help you”. She asked him what he was doing and he told her what he did for a living. And she said, “well then what you need is some help. You can’t get to those kids by yourself! You got to have help! What you need is some reindeer…”

And that’s why I’m SO glad to introduce here tonight Santa’s nine little reindeer!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: Minister of style and flamboyancy. The eclectic Brother Dasher!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: The secretary of extroversion and master of choreography. The great, great Dancer!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: The fairest of them all, and star of a 1989 children’s fantasy drama film! Prancer, everybody!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE [singing]: and now, and now. Bulls are fine and fawns are fun. But when it comes to getting a tricky job done, I need a –

crowd [singing]: female caribou!

BRUCE [singing]: I need a –

crowd [singing]: female caribou!

BRUCE: First Lady of The Reins. The one and only, the enchanting, Ms. Vixen!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: The Dean of frozen gases, rock and dust. Now you see him, now you don’t. Professor Comet!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: Keeper of love and lover of all that is righteous! The always affectionate, Mister Cupid!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: The Godfather of thunder. Sit tight, take hold. The mighty, mighty Donner!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: A reindeer that brings the power night, after night, after night, after night! The lightning fast, Blitzen pulling on those reins!

[crowd cheers]

BRUCE: Now last but not least. That’s right – last but not least!

[crowd cheers wildly]

BRUCE: Do I have to say his name?!?

crowd: Noo!

BRUCE: Do I have to speak his name?!?

crowd: Noo!

BRUCE: I’m talking about the mastermind! The guiding light! The star of a stop-motion animated television special! The most famous of them all… Do you recall his name?!?

crowd: “Ruuu!”

BRUCE: Say who!

crowd: “Ruuu-dolph!”

BRUCE: Say who!

crowd: “Ruuu-dolph!”

BRUCE: Say who!

crowd: “Ruuu-dolph!”

BRUCE: Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, ladies and gentlemen!

[crowd freaking out]

BRUCE: Santa’s Reindeer, everybody! Santa’s Reindeer! The corn-feeding, high-flying, rein-pulling, sleigh-leading, house-topping, history-making, legendary San-ta’s Reindeer!

 

 

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